(gorgeous candle pic by Jessica.Diamond)
Darling Atticus, today is your birthday. You would have been 7. Seven. wow.
Imogen woke me this morning to tell me excitedly that it was your birthday, and had I remembered? I had. She and Cole then proceeded to sing happy birthday *directly* to you - on their knees, with their wee hands clasped in prayer. I am ridiculously tickled that your brother and sister are wholly convinced that prayer exists for the purpose of talking directly to their brother, and God doesn't really come into it except in His role as a compassionate landlord of sorts, who shares babysitting duties with Nana Mary.
Sweetheart, I am not going to go on and on about how much I love you and wish you were here with us in more than a narrative sense - you know all this; I talk to you all the time. Instead, I'm going to say I hope you enjoyed watching the hut your siblings made on their beds with the biggest quilts and longest broom handles in the house...I heard them having a conversation in it last night after bedtime (note to self: big homemade huts are fabulous things, but they will help ward off sleep for small children better than even gorillas in the cupboard!) about how they would make it bigger if you were there to play with them. I teared up a little, and got considerably less grumpy about them still being awake so late.
Happy birthday, my sweet little bunny boy.
Remembering with you, Jol.
Posted by: Kelley | March 25, 2011 at 12:01 PM
happy birthday sweet boy.
Posted by: Cara | March 26, 2011 at 07:21 AM
He lives on in your hearts and the ever-growing hearts of Cole and Immy.
Posted by: AmyK | March 30, 2011 at 01:23 PM
Thank you do much for sharing, J. Thinking of you this weekend as you celebrate another year for Atticus.
(How I dread our first birthday. But I do find hope in your posts. xo)
Posted by: miss chris | March 23, 2012 at 12:58 PM
thank you. The first is so hard for a lot of reasons - not least of all because a lot of people build it up so youre expecting to feel overwhelmed before you even get there. Hang in there. Its hard, and this is all still so very new and raw for you - give yourself time, and be kind to yourself. (and you know where I am if you need to talk to someone whos also travelling that road!)
Posted by: Jolie | March 26, 2012 at 12:24 PM